Post is unrelated

Publicado: 17/05/2010 en whatever

Yep, this post has nothing to do with running or wight loss or diet but still is about something that happen to me this weekend so here it is. Saturday I went to see my piercer again, with this nasty idea in mind. But let me do a little background.

Back in november 2009, I had my tongue and nipples done and dude it was quite an experience. I gave that step a lot of thought. After all, I’m about to turn 30 so I’m not in age to be playing around with fad trends or any other shananigans. After about two years of thinking about it I finally walked the road and had the piercings done in the same day – in the same hour, actually. Now, I HATE pain. Don’t like it. And the experience of having my nipples done was WWHHOAAA horrible and beatiful at the same time. It hurt for about 10 seconds, pretty badly; and then nothing. The second one was worst. The worst pain I had ever felt in my life. If that pain is somehow related to the pain that women feel at giving birth… man if I was a woman I would become a nun without a second though. The tongue piercing was the last. I was already shaking and white pale by the first two, and actually I did not felt the needle or any pain at all. NOW I remembered walking away from the shop and thinking that I’ll never, ever again mutilate myself again. Yet still, I had this euphoria sensation that made me join this facebook group.

But the thing is, is kinda of addicting, you know? At least when some time passes and you forget how much it hurted the last time. Maybe marathoners feel the same way about marathons?

So I was idiotic enough to forget my promise of “never again” and went on it one more time. The idea was to stretch my already done piercings, from a 14ga to a 12ga. That’s the thickness of the jewelry, so it’s also the diameter of the hole. I had 1.6mm diameter perforations on all three spots, and wanted to expand those to a 2mm perforations. Because bigger holes = bigger jewelry = bigger badass-ness and to me = more beatifulness. But that’s just how my wicked mind works (Caution: different minds might get differents results).

So, flashforward to today (BTW, did you knew that show was canceled? Bummer). My piercer, Fingazz, told me all the jewelry I ask him to get for me arrived. I picked pure titanium jewelry, and titanium is the closest thing of having the Holy bones of Christ as jewelry (what? Too much sacrilege? Sorry about that, but really, this is like the purest material you can get and please bear with my wicked mind. No bones of any kind were used in me during this weekend, and hope never will be used. Specially those sacred bones because they dont exists, I mean Jesus flew up to the sky in His whole living body so no bones where left behind, just like Mary. So It is a methaphore. If you get offended by that last phrase, you forget that part about Jesus living this world still on His body and you should feel ashamed or at least re-read your Bible!).

Anyways… back to the jewerly. The piece I had been using on my tongue was a cheap-ass 2 US dollars, so the material was probably tin. And it was irritating too. I wanted the good stuff, so I ask my piercer to get bigger jewelry for all three piercings.

So I arrived and he invited me in. He had this geisha that was somehow his nurse, but because of the humbling obedience posture and of course that kimono she was wearing I’ll call her the Geisha. He showed me this “tapers”, that basically looked like this:

So the thin end get in the hole, and with a firm push the taper goes in and stretches the thing. Simple, huh? So I sitted and when he asked the Geisha for the lube, I got worried. Where is the taper inserted again, then…? The first was my right nip. We did the breathing deep drill and 1, 2, THREE! Oh, you piece of!…I hope your mom!… Ahhh! Just 1 second of pain, and it was over. Now, the left nip. I knew from experience the second one hurts more. So when we get to the deep breathing part, I kinda hyperventilated. LOL! He calm me down, because you know, I HATE pain. But there I was, sitting there, in that situation. So, 1,2,3…4,5,6 deep breathes and SEVEN! You piece of crap!!! I damn you and all your chil….!!!! Ahhh!!! And it was over. Darn!

“Do you want to do the tongue right away or we wait a few minutes?” He asked. and I reply “yeah, lets wait a… you know what? Lets do it, lets just do it right now (before I chicken out!)” He said “That’s the spirit I like!” So we went for it. Now, I was relaxed because the tongue piercing I hardly felt when I did it. So he got the taper on my tongue hole, we did the breathing and 1, 2, THREEEEE!!!! HOLLY MOTHER OFFFFF!!!!!! WHAT THAAAA FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My first reaction was to grab his forearm, push him away and maybe punch his little pierced/tattoed head into the wall and kick him senseless!!!! But somehow… man! I stopped my hand about one inch before grabbing his forearm. In this “pickle claw” formation, did you see that Ellen DeGeneres special?

I only stopped because I figured out the taper was already in the whole way. He changed the jewelry and we were done. And I was dizzy and pale. I could only mumble two words… “never” and “again”…never..again…. Eventually I got up, pay him, and walked away. With watery eyes. Not because of the pain, wich was bad in the tongue, but because of the adrenaline.

Just picture this: you drive your way home, and someone *almost* crash his car into yours. You manouver around, and *almost* crush against that car and *almost* ran your car over some inocent pedestrians. But somehow, you didnt. Good for you and your driving skills! Yet, after that you dont get home and just take the trash out and go around your everyday life. You just get a huge scare, you were almost killed, you almost killed some people!! You are shaky, you are…. shocked! Thats what you are! My eyes were watery by the shock of all of it.

So, to rap this LOOOONG post, I did repeat “never again” for like… 30 minutes. Then I went “F***, that was intense!” For 20 hours. And now I’m like “So, where will be the next one?”. Damn you, wicked mind!!!



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