Yes, I failed at my fitness goals today. Things started pretty well, I had my oats for breakfast, and the WW sandwich with the chicken and salad for lunch. Didn’t had too much work today, so tireness was not an excuse. I even managed to take a little nap after lunch (don’t tell my boss!!!).
So after I got home, I was suppouse to get my ass into the weight room. As I was driving home, I realized it just wasn’t going to happen. I wasn’t tired, I was just lazy. Not today. No-uh. The excuse of the day was my lack of form in the last workout at the weight room. I’m re-reading this book wich is all about form at the major compound exercises and while I was reading the 50 pages about the squat I just kept thinking “Oh! I forgot that. And that! And that too!! AND THAT TOOO!!!” So my overall feelings are like I forgot how to squat, and bench press, and deadlift, and any other exercise you can think of. So I made a trade with LazyKid; I said to myself “OK, no gym tonight, BUT you will film yourself squatting with your home barbell so we can work at our form”. I was OK with that. Yeah, like that was gonna happen.
When I got home, I could taste starches in my mouth. Remember, my dinner is suppouse to be chicken salad (low chicken, high veggies) with no oil. But I could taste starch, my craves were muttilating me! So, what do I find lying around in the kitchen? A pot. Of spaghetti. Oh, crap. I chose the mureder weapon: a fork. I advanced towards my victim, oh so exquisitly slowly. I was drooling. The spaghetti didn’t notice me coming at it. It was a massacre.
But a healthy massacre. I roughly calculate maybe half a cup of spaghetti eaten. Small amount, then I stopped myself. You can say “well, that is a small amount, less than a serving”. Yes, but this low carb afternoon diet do have a reason for being. I was not suppose to eat carbs for a reason, and it’s called insulin. I’m not gonna get all scientific, but yeah, something on the diet was messed up with that pasta. I knew it all the time I was munching those carbs. It was sooooo good. And dirty.
After I munched on the sin apple, I had my tuna salad as I was suppouse to. Go me, right? No workout, falling of the wagon, hormonally at least. Oh, and that thing they say about a spike of sugar will cause a plummet later that makes you hungry for more carbs again? Yeah, it happened. But this time I didn’t use a fork. I put the pot in the floor and attack it like a rabid dog.
Anyways, as I say when I rap things out; calorie speaking, I did good, probably. Hormonally speaking, I failed. Diet wise, I failed too. But the thing that hurts me the most, is that I failed to myself. I dont care if it is something healthy or harmful, but I did a promise to myself and failed. I promised myself that today I would do this list of things, and I didn’t. LazyKid, starch addiction, guilt. Damn you threesome of Hell.