Uhm, that. Today I’m feeling both skinny and fat. Not a very good combo.
It’s one of those days when I completely forget that I’m doing this for my health and longevity and to be my best. No, today I don’t care about any of that. My mind is fixed on just three things: on how I look, on how I look and on how I look.
I got another skinny “compliment” today. She said to me “You just keep getting skinnier, uh?”. I thought to myself “Yeah, I lift weights three times a week to be SKINNY and small and diminished… bitch!” I know she meant well, but still…
I have been playing the “grab your junk” game all day. No, you little perv, not *that* game. I grab my biceps and triceps and wonder why they are so small. I think to myself that my arms are a little more than just bone. The more I grab it, the smaller they feel.
Then I grab the fat in my chest. Man boobs. “Feel your disgusting man boobs, loser! Did you believed at some point that you had a rock hard chest?”
And then I grab IT. You know whom I’m talking about. The BELLY FAT. While sitting. “You workout so much and still you got this thing here? What a loser… It’s never going to go away. You’re never going to get abs. Face it, you are disgusting. You know what you really are, with your super weight loss thing and lifting weights habit? (read in very bitter voice) A half-baked work that’s never going to get finished.”
So, you can imagine how GREAT my day is going, so far. At least I know I’m not the only guy that has bad days.
But I don’t feel like pig out or missing Body Combat tonight, or just just throw everything away. I want to keep on track, I just feel frustrated. I want my rewards, today. It’s like I’m advancing yet I’m going backwards. Or something like that, but making sense.
In the Primal/Paleo news, the challenge still starts officially August 2nd even if I have been eating Primal for 3 days now. It’s effortless. Yeah, I wish I could write something a little more interesting about, like “I saw a donut and-” but… I don’t feel hungry, I hadn’t got any cravings. Maybe it’s the transition to *low-carb* that’s giving me the blues? Might be. Who knows. One thing I can tell you, you MUST try to eat a roasted chicken leg for breakfast, at least once in your life. I almost cried out of happiness, it was that good.
So, what will I do to shake this feelings? Booze?
Oh, I forgot. To celebrate my 30th birthday, I’m signing for a 5K this August 1th. That’s this Sunday. Wow. Haven’t trained for that at all.