My what, again?
Today I was having lunch with my co-workers. The low-carb subject came up, and so I was talking about how easy has been for me to eat this way. Then someone said “I don’t think I could do that, I love candy!”. Then I thought to myself “Candy I do not miss, but I could have a chocolate cookie some day”.
Then it happened. Some other co-worker came up with a huge bag… of Oreos. She put it in the table, right in front of me…
CO-WORKER 1: Look what a patient bring to me! It was a gift.
ME (stares at huge bag of Oreos in disbelief): …………
CO-WORKER 2: Ha, Rein! Too bad you can’t have those!
ME (with huge fried eggs-like eyes, fixed on the Oreos): I could… I might…
OREOS: *evil whispers towards me*
They looked so good, so perfectly round, the yummyness was… undeniable.
CO-WORKER 3: Fine, we would not think any less of you if you eat some Oreos. You have lost so much weight already!
ME: Oh, come on, they are not even mine! They’re hers!
CO-WORKER 1: Sure, Rein, you can eat as much as you want. I brought them here to share.
ME (starting to sweat): You offer them to me freely…
CO-WORKER 2: Maybe we can have a cup of coffee too?
OREOS: *evil whispers*
CO-WORKER 4: Uh! I could drink a cup of tea right now…
ME (as I reached my hand to the cookies): I do not deny that my heart has greatly desired this…
CO-WORKER 1: So, how was your day girl?
ME (almost touching the Oreos): Then instead of a low, steady blood sugar level, I should have A SURGE! (face glows in shiny white light, voice goes down 3 octaves) IT WOULD BE A SUGAR PARTY IN MY MOUTH!
CO-WORKER1: It was a good day, actually!
ME: THEN INSULIN SHALL SPIKE!!! THE ENERGY WILL BE UNBELIEVABLE!!!!
CO-WORKER4: Ugh! Mine was terrible….
ME: YOU ALL WILL LOOK AS SLOW AS A TURTLE TO ME!!! YOU WILL WATCH MY ENERGY AND CRY!!! YOU ALL WILL LOOK AT ME FROM BELOW, I WILL BE UP THERE, IN THE VERY TOP OF THE OLIMPUS!!!!! WITH A STOMP OF MY FOOT I WILL CRASH YOUR WEAK BODIES!!!!!!
CO-WORKER 2: Shall I put water to boil, then?
ME: THEN THE SUGAR CRASH WILL FOLLOW SOON!!! YOU ALL WILL WITNESS MY HUNGER!!!
CO-WORKER 1: Yes, please! I’ll have a cup of coffee too…
ME: THEN I WILL BECOME CRANKY!!! AND YOU ALL SHALL PAY THE PRICE!! NO PIECE OF FRUIT WILL BE SUFFICIENT!!! YOU WILL SUFFER FROM MY BAD MOOD AND DESPAIR!!!!
*Shiny lights go off, voice comes back to normal, I return to my senses*
CO-WORKER 1: So, Rein, are you gonna eat some? Wait, are you OK? You’re sweating…
ME (breathing heavily): Yeah…yeah….
CO-WORKER 3: Rein, you’re pale! Maybe your blood sugar is too low?
ME: Nah, I’m fine… Excuse me, they are… I just remembered that I was suppose to… bye guys… *ran away*