Not fat anymore…

Publicado: 29/12/2010 en Sin categoría

OK, let me explain. Even as I am slim now, there is still this layer of fat covering my midsection that still bother me. I still call myself “fat” because of that layer of fatty matter.

So today I was at work, wearing my “L” size blue shirt that is my old summer uniform that I still use. They bought it for my last year, and my bosses said they’re going to buy me a new one this December, “S” sized. But in the mean time, while I still wait for the new scrub, I wear the “L” one. If I’m slim, with that thing on I look slimmer. Because now I’m a size “S”, wearing a size “L”.

I could buy a new one with my money, but I just don’t want to (I’m ridiculously cheap, remember?)

So there I was, at work, doing the “grabbing my stuff” game. You know, when your hands move to your belly without you even notice and start grabbing your belly, kind of a “homemade” caliper thing. Then I snapped out of it. I catched my reflection in the window, and then I just had enough of it. I’m skinny, goddammit!! I lift up my shirt, and I saw myself FAT. Wait, no, actually slim. I didn’t really knew if I was looking at a fat belly or a slim belly. From my point or view, looking down, it looked roundish, but in the reflection it didn’t…

Then I remember my hunchback.

When someone is going to take a pic of me, I extend my spine because I know I have bad posture. Then I look at the pic, and I still look a little bit hunchbacked. SO, no matters what my mental image of myself is, a pic doesn’t lie. Am I fat? Am I skinny? I decided to decide already. I went to the restroom, lifted my shirt and took 2 pics with my Iphone. I did this to decide once and for all. Here they are:

The pics were jaw-dropping for me. What kind of mental disorder do I have? How do I think to myself as a “fatty”? Do I still have the mental image of myself as the first pic I took for this blog?

I wasn’t going to write a post tonight. But remembered this experience fr this day earlier, and I realized there was a pic a didn’t take. The one that look “fat” to me. The one looking down at my belly. I just had to snap another one:

Ok, some roundishness but still slim, right? I’m still bothered at this:

And bothered at the fact that I still don’t look like this at the abs area:

BUT I’M NOT FAT ANYMORE. There, I said it. I’m an ex-fatty.

I’m not fat anymore. Now I just need to repeat that in my head 10,000 more times until I actually get it. OK; let’s start: 1: I’m not fat anymore. 2: I’m not fat anymore. 3: I’m not fat anymore. 4…

  1. jT. dice:

    wow, congrats on your weight loss and yes you are not fat. when i began losing weight i refused to buy new clothes even though my existing clothing made me look even heavier because it didn’t fit me properly and they were too baggy.

    but when i switched to clothing that fit me it hit me that wow, i’m losing weight. so sometimes it’s a good thing to spend the $$ on some new threads. =)

  2. Jay dice:

    You look normal weight to me. Not skinny, you don’t want to look skinny, but instead you should aim for a healthy weight. And that’s what you look like to me. Keep doing what you’re doing, working on building muscle and lowering your body fat and you’ll get to look like that swimmer guy. He looks like he’s maybe 6%-8% body fat..


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