I scare the crap out of myself

Publicado: 17/02/2011 en nutrition, Paleo/Primal, weights

OK, a little intro first. This community, the weigh loss/health community is mainly dominated by women. There, I said it. The men are minority. And the men who actually hit goal weight, yet keeps on blogging, are a minority inside the minority. And the men who struggle with muscle gain, BUT having our minds already fucked up by previous fat gains (we started blogging as fat dudes), are even less. I think I can count 4 guys like that in my reader. Me included.

So, you’re a dude.  You were fat, but you lost the extra weight. Now, time to bulk because non of us wants to be just skinny, we want to look more muscular as well. And to look muscular, you need to lift weights and eat a little bit above maintenance – or a lot above it. Just eat more, but don’t start to get fat again. Simple, on paper.

I had lost a lot of weight, and now I’m what a like to call a “Skinny Fuck”. In my mind, my legs are normal; in the mirror, I see straws. In my mind, my arms are a little bigger than average; in the mirror, I have straws for arms. I have “Twiggy” written all over my face. I hate it. My height is 5′ 61” (1.71 meters) and weight 132 pounds (60 kilos first thing in the morning after peeing).

And still, yeah, I keep on weight training. I add one more rep almost every workout. I get stronger. A stronger skinny fuck.

But the idea of eating over my calorie “confort place” scares the living crap out of me. I’m skinny, yet I don’t own a pack of six abs. Maybe, if I flex, a some sort of 4-pack? So I’m torn between wanting to eat above maintanence for muscle gain, and wanting to undereat for fat loss. One day I feel on one team, the next I feel on the other team.

So, now that summer is almost over, I said fuck it. Let’s eat more, and exercise less. Yes, I said LESS. Less cardio, same weight lifting, more sleeping and naps. And let’s eat a lot, but real food, #primal foods. (Wait, did I just add a hashtag there? WTH?)

I had write this very same post before. Then, a few days later, I panick about growing a belly again and go back to low cal. I hope, the story doesn’t repeat itself. Stick to a plan other than low cal, goddammit!!

So the actual plan: weights 3 times per week. Bodycombat 1-2 times per week. Swimming 1-2 times per week, but not for calorie burning; only for technique purposes. Eat more than I do now, only real food. Meat, veggies, fats, fruit and eggs.

OK. Here I go.

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