I went to a wake with my Mom today. Yep, someone died. Some old lady in my family I didn’t speak to for like 20 years. So I’m not falling apart here, crying myself out. I’m just… Dexter like. The serial killer Dexter, not the cartoon boy with the lab. Emotionless. Actually, I’m kind of glad she died. She was very deteriorated, her memory was lost, she tried to get out of bed and fell to the ground… miserable life, if you ask me. 10 years of living in your bed, watching the ceiling. Some people get old and still be active, others just wither and become child-like, wearing diapers and such. She was in the latter group.
It was an open casket wake. I respected my mom’s wish and we didn’t see her corpse/face. I wanted to, almost to see if I could recognize the old lady from my memories in that lifeless corpse. To see the work of the artist who did her make up. To see if … I would cry? But we didn’t. It was a scary time, tho. My mom is 69 years old. It’s gonna happen for me too, someday. I watched how the son and daughter of the dead woman were handling the whole thing. Her son was serious, but “powerful”. Her daughter was powerful too, but she cried a lot (not in front of us, but her eyes were red and swollen. Kind of obvious, right? Her Mom just died).
I’m going to bury my Mom soon too. She’s 69, soon 70 years old. It’s gonna happen, eventually. It’s times like this I’m glad I’m a bastard. At least I don’t get to bury my father as well.
And after the wake, I hurried to the gym. I needed my workout. Wait, what? To the gym, after that wake? WTF?
You need to understand this: I’m doing this, the gym and diet thing, so I won’t end up like the woman who died today. Take Art De Vany. The dude is super old, yet super muscular and fit. That’s how I wanna be when I’m 70+ years old: pulling my car for a short workout, having a muscular body when everybody else around me (of my same age) are wearing diapers, and possibly fucking lots and lots without Viagra. Yep, lots and lots of fucking. Lots. Of. Fucking. No Viagra.
LOTS. OF. ELDERLY. FUCKING. Now go and try to take that mental image off your mind.
Leave it to me, to start a post with a dead old woman and finish it with lots of fucking, eh?