What tha heck do you eat, anyway?

I follow the ways of “Primal Eating“. It means, I choose to eat the way our ancestors ate many, many years ago.

50 years back from today, people actually fried and prepared  food WITH FREACKING LARD. And not a single fuck was given those days about it.

200 years back from today, people actually made their own bread and pasta from SCRATCH.

About 7,000-10,000 years ago, people discovered that they could plant seeds and agriculture was born. We started to eat grains (wheat, barley, rice, etc.) and legumes as staple foods.

That’s 10,000 years! A long time, uh? But you’ll see, human beings (with our same DNA, not some weird ape-man Neanderthal thingy, but actual humans) have been around for… wait for it… 200,000 years ago!!! Meaning, we survived as a species for 190,000 years without eating grains and legumes regularly.

Let that one sink for a minute. For 95% of our history, we didn’t eat any grains or legumes regularly. No bread, no pasta, no rice. And once we started eating those (for only 5% of our recent history), several crappy staff started to happen, including growth retardation in children, decreased muscle and bone mass in adults, kidney stone formation, decaying of teeth, shorter people, etc). <— PubMed article. But, somehow, even as we grew sicker and sicker, you can still imagine healthy people 500 years ago (around the time that guy Columbus was alive), especially in America (the WHOLE America, americans. Not just you). Maybe the rest of the world was “healthy” too?

But then, we managed to screw things up even more. 200 years ago, we discovered the joys of INDUSTRY. And food started to be sold in a box. Candy was not a treat you baked for a birthday, it started to come in a bag, ready to grab, pay and eat. Then, some guys were not happy just selling soap and invented a Franken-oil. And that was about when the shit hit the fan.

We started to get fat as fuck and started dying like flies. Just a few years ago (looking at the big 200,000 years picture), scientists were FORCED to come up with an explanation and a plan. Politics, ya’ know. Some dude did a little manipulating  of data (drama queen, needed attention) and bam! It was the fat all along! We blamed saturated fat (the exactly same fat that we were eating from animals since 200,000 fucking years ago ¬¬’ Are you fucking kidding me?) and we were told to eat a lot of new oils from veggies and flowers, and make the new-eats-from-the-last-5%-of-our-history (grains!) staple foods. The pyramid food was born.

Luckily, this worked like a charm. Today, everybody is healthy and thin and muscular and lives for 100 years. Epic fail, anyone?

Since things were getting worst and worst, scientists sit down and came up with a logical explanation. Their advice cannot be wrong, of course, so it had to be YOU. YOU weren’t listening. YOU are a pig AND a sloth. Their advice was perfect, but YOU are such a failure that can’t follow simple directions. You buy this crap, and keep tracking your calories, and follow the “My Plate” guidelines, eating your oatmeal for breakfast, doing aerobic exercise 20 minutes/3 times a week, but still you fail at losing fat. And feel miserable about it.

Is it your fault? Or is it theirs?


What is this “Primal” non-sense, anyway? It’s about rewind time the best we can, and eat the foods we ate for the first 190,000 years of our history. And move/exercise the way we did back then. Doing this stuff has some terrible side effects, tho. Like you start to lose fat. You might even start to look good naked. You might got more energy. You might lose sight of your doc, since a lot diseases stop hanging around you. You also might become a zealot. And start lecturing people about the bread they’re eating. And give disapproval looks at other people’s plates. Did I mention start looking good naked?

I try to emulate that way of eating/exercising the best I can. I could never do it exactly that way. For example, bananas might not be the same bananas from 200,000 years ago. We have chosen some species, breed them to make them sweeter and yellower and stuff. Just about a couple of hundreds years ago, all carrots were PURPLE. Yes, purple. They weren’t very popular either. We grew them to be orange (even now, some carrots still have some purple around the leaves at the top, have you noticed that?) Back then, we would hunt a boar for 30-60 minutes, and then carry it to camp. And that was work. The rest of the day we pooped and fucked. Today, we got 9 hours workdays. We used to walk barefoot like a hobbit, we have shoes now (wonder what that does to our feet bone structure…).

Still, I got some slack.  I do eat cake at birthdays, have some bread or pasta here and there, and I freacking love alcohol 🙂 But I do my best to eat primal every single day. What are my eats?

Meat (chicken, beef, pork, ham, fish, soylent green) and a side salad.

-Meat and a stir-fry of veggies.

-Omelets, hard boiled eggs, scrambled eggs.

– Coffee, teas, water, sparkling water. Diet soda on special ocassions.

-Fruits, 1 piece or so everyday.

– Whey protein.

-Splash of whole milk on coffee, cream to coffee and meals, butter.

-Honey, sometimes. In beverages, desserts or dishes.

-Cheeses and nuts as condiments.

-Lard, olive oil, grapeseed oil.

-The ocassional potato.

That’s it, in a nutshell. If this is the first time you read anything like this, click all the links and read the websites <— specially this one. I’m here to answer your questions too. I think you just hit the jackpot.

  1. sotm121097 dice:

    Hello, I saw you comment on Roni’s blog. I found it so interesting what you said about ww bread, pasta and rice being an issue. Do you really feel that this is part of what is making people overweight? Also, do you still eat them?

    • darnfitness dice:

      Yes, I strongly believe that those foods make people overweight and obese. And I blame them for making weight loss so darn difficult. It should be easy, just a mere calculation of calories you need and then make a small deficit, right? Eat less, move more, right? If it was that easy, there would not be fat people anymore…

      All I know is that after I ditch them from my diet (mostly), fat loss was effortless. They really are bulk of our diet (60% calories or more are from carbs) and once you make this huge change, bam! Skinnier than heck.

      I do still eat them, tho. In a normal day, I don’t feel the need or really miss them. But at social ocassions (about once every 2 weeks), I do eat them, plentiful. A birthday is not a birthday without lots of cake! A movie isn’t a movie without HFCS-filled popcorn! A party isn’t a party without potato chips! 😉 I do feel discomfort for about 24 hours later in my belly, tho. Well, for me is discomfort, for you it would be “that heavy belly feeling after every meal”. Since you don’t get that feeling after eating “primal”, when you do eats lots of carbs you get it again and you really take notice.


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